I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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