i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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