I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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