You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
