Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
