She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize