he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
