P.S. I can't hear my feet
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
