Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
