we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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