The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
