dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
