Well douche your snatch and let's go!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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