would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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