seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
