I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
