I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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