So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
