Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize