She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
