think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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