dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
