SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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