So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
