So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
