The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
