his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
