Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize