btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
its not stalking. its research.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
