just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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