Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
