She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
