I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
