Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
