I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
