Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize