Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
