Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
