you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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