We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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