your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
