She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
