my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
