kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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