chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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