Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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