Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
