So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
