By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
