shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
