so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize