She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
