Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
