But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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