K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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