I accidentally had phone sex last night
Duck Duck Cougar?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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