Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
