Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
