Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Someone shattered a urinal.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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