Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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