Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
