Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize