she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize