What did we do last night that was yellow?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
