Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
