bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
