turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize