Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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