Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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