TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
