ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize