what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
