ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
