You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
