I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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