i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
