Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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