Can i not drive my cunt home
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
