then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
